Arte Johnson
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Willoughbys volume 1
Accelerated Reader
IL: MG - BL: 5.2 - AR Pts: 4
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Description
In this tongue-in-cheek take on classic themes in children's literature, the four Willoughby children set about to become "deserving orphans" after their neglectful parents embark on a treacherous around-the-world adventure, leaving them in the care of an odious nanny.
2) Bad monkey
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Andrew Yancy novels volume 1
Accelerated Reader
IL: UG - BL: 6.3 - AR Pts: 17
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Description
Andrew Yancy, late of the Miami Police, soon-to-be-late of the Key West Police, has a human arm in his freezer. There is a logical explanation for that, but not for how and why it parted from its owner. Yancy thinks the boating-accident/shark-luncheon explanation is full of holes, and if he can prove murder, his commander might relieve him of Health Inspector duties, aka Roach Patrol. But first Yancy will negotiate an ever-surprising course of events,...
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The Brixton Brothers volume 3
Accelerated Reader
IL: MG - BL: 4 - AR Pts: 5
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Description
Steve Brixton is in retirement, and not even grand theft auto can bring him back for one last job. Period, the end, that's that. Right???
After finding out that his favorite author (and author of the definitive Bailey Brothers Guidebook) was not the man Steve thought he was, the Brixton Brothers detective agency is officially out of business. Steve has a new job now: taking out the trash for five bucks a week.
But when he and his best chum Dana...
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In 2001, the government was seized by a ne'er-do-well rich boy and his elderly henchmen. Our great economic expansion unraveled, our water was poisoned, and SUVs advanced like a plague of locusts.
Michael Moore has a lot to say and isn't holding back. The powerful are the target - particularly a group that laid waste to the world as we know it - and still are: stupid white men. In this bleakly funny work, Moore reveals how the great and the good...
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Tupperware ladies, eighties people, and leisure concept salesmen beware: Dave Barry is on the loose and no one is safe! In this collection of eighty essays, the inimitable columnist observes everything that makes America the unique, special place you've grown to love: taxes, toilets, airbags, baseball, beer commercials, and numerous other American artifacts.
With his beloved brand of zany humor, Barry covers it all, from lauding the little-appreciated...
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Best-selling golf writer and historian Don Wade returns with another collection of real-life stories from the greatest players ever to compete in the game. Wade brings together living legends, past champions, and contemporary stars in one entertaining audio that is worth more than a dozen how-to books. The perfect off-course amusement for the aficionado or player, And then Tiger Told the Shark is performed by Arte Johnson, himself a seasoned golfer...
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Don Wade has proved himself to be golf's master storyteller. He returns once again with this truly delightful collection of real-life stories from and about the world's greatest golfers. This collection of anecdotes brings together past heroes like Ben Hogan and Sam Snead and living legends like Chi-Chi Rodriguez and Jack Nicklaus with current stars of today. You'll hear about Frank Sinatra's flirtation with golf, the day Gene Sarazen almost caused...
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This collection of anecdotes-from Golf Digest editor Don Wade-brings out of the locker room and onto the green an engaging treasury of more than 100 of the greatest golf stories ever told from the game's legends: Ben Hogan, Nancy Lopez, Fred Couples, and others. From Augusta National to Royal St. George, this entertaining, intimate, and funny audio takes you onto some of the best courses alongside the greatest players in the world.
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One of America's most beloved social commentators- Pulitzer Prize-winning and bestselling author Russell Baker- followed up his bestselling memoir, The Good Times, with this collection of his best New York Times columns, dating back to 1962. There' s a Country in My Cellar covers Baker's usual wide range of topics, told in a wonderfully funny style, and many of which are profoundly serious beneath the banter.
12) Absurdistan
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2007 Audie® Award Finalist - Literary Fiction
"With the enormous success of the critically acclaimed The Russian Debutante’s Handbook, Gary Shteyngart established himself as one of the most talented writers of his generation. Open Absurdistan and meet our hero, the outsize Misha Vainberg, son of the 1,238th-richest man in Russia, lover of large portions of food and drink, lover and inept performer of rap music,
...14) Bad Dogs Have More Fun: Selected Writings on Family, Animals and Life from the Philadelphia Inquirer
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This is an unforgettable collection of more than 75 newspaper columns by John Grogan, the New York Times best-selling author of Marley & Me. Combining humor, wit, poignancy, and affection, these columns provide insight into the intriguing and wonderful world we live in. Whether writing about animals (from dogs to elephants to geese!), life's foibles and farces, family (not just his own), or interactions with memorable people, John Grogan makes us...
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Fitness and vitality can be yours, writes Dave Barry-provided you have the discipline, drive, and the plain old-fashioned guts required to procure the necessary steroids. This manual may help, too, but you'll just have to buy it and find out. Barry on executive fitness: Today's top executives eat teeny meals and run ten miles and play tennis and work out every day. Of course, they're so busy getting fit that many don't even know where their offices...
16) Trust Me on This
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What would it take to lure a serious young newswoman from a respectable New England paper to the most notorious supermarket tabloid in America? How about a promise of a salary that's triple what she's making? Sara Joslyn is fresh from journalism school and ready to take on the world. She has to settle for a sensational gossip rag where no low is too low, and no story is too outlandish to print. En route to her new job at the sleazy tabloid, Sara stumbles...
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What do best-selling writers Sue Grafton, Danielle Steel, and Tom Clancy all have in common? They' ve all been shockingly murdered in a manner both gruesome and appropriate to their literary style. Now, an extremely paranoid Stephen King is convinced that he will be the next victim. With great trepidation, King leaves his heavily barricaded fortress in Bangor, Maine, to discover who is knocking off his fellow authors. This hilarious satirical...
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One of America's most beloved writers, Lilian Jackson Braun-author of twenty-four Cat Who... mysteries-becomes the subject of a mystery herself. In this spoof by one of her most ardent admirers, Braun's beheaded body has been discovered in the men's room of a gay bar in Lower Manhattan. The police are baffled, and so it is up to Braun's eccentric writer friend, James Q. (Qafka), and his Siamese cats Ying-Ton and Poon-Tang to solve the ghastly mystery....
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Today’s Generation iY (teens brought up with the internet) and Homelanders (children born after 9/11) are overexposed to information at an earlier age than ever and paradoxically are underexposed to meaningful relationships and real-life experiences. Artificial Maturity addresses the problem of what to do when parents and teachers mistake children’s superficial knowledge for real maturity. The book is filled with practical steps that adults can...
20) Drowned Hopes
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A comic crime masterpiece featuring anti-hero John Dortmunder.
Arriving home after another failed burglary, John Dortmunder is shocked to find his apartment occupied by a notorious cellmate that everyone had supposed (and hoped) had been jailed for life. Tom Jimson needs Dortmunder's help. Thirty years before his last prison stretch, Tom had pulled a big job up near Albany, one that left a cool $700,000 in cash buried under a water reservoir near...